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Listen.

"Listen. This is just a dream. But very clever people can hear dreams. So please just listen. I know you’re afraid, but being afraid is all right. Because didn’t anybody ever tell you? Fear is a superpower. Fear can make you faster, and cleverer, and stronger. And one day, you’re gonna come back to this barn, and on that day, you’re going to be very afraid indeed. But that’s okay. Because if you’re very wise and very strong, fear doesn’t have to make you cruel or cowardly. Fear can make you kind. … It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing under the bed, or in the dark, so long as you know it’s okay to be afraid of it. So listen. If you listen to nothing else, listen to this: you’re always going to be afraid, even if you learn to hide it. Fear is like… a companion. A constant companion, always there. But that’s okay. Because fear can bring us together. Fear can bring you home. I’m gonna leave you something just so you’ll always remember. Fear makes companions of us all.&…
Recent posts

Hurt People Hurt People

I guess in a lot of ways, sharing my experiences require me to air out some dirty laundry. I have been candid (I think) and try to avoid judgement (I think this shows). However, how do you really see what my situation is like without looking at more than the current moving parts? I think it is appropriate, to put things in perspective and hop in a time machine.
This is not a blame game. This is not a way for me to ask you to cast judgement as you look at my experiences. I consider myself an empath, I have a good handle on objectively viewing things and seeing who people truly could be at their best, not just punishing them for their worst. 
I fell in love when I was 18 years old. I was mad for this guy. He was handsome and funny and he loved me right back. I had just graduated high school and he was still finishing up, as he was two years my junior. He'd had a hard childhood. I say hard because I know that it was hard for him not in an relational way to anyone else. He struggled wit…

Morning Motivation

Petty Diatribes

I have now had time to go back and read through things I have written here in the past. How interesting is it to realize that some of my biggest issues with StepMomming is the other Mom? I have sat on these thoughts for a few days because I wanted to propose to other steps, the idea that maybe 90% of these issues are things that I have no control over, but doesn't that mean if I handle things like a boss I could be in control of 10% of them? I could be 10% happier! 10% happier could be the difference between crying myself to sleep and falling restlessly into dreamland or the difference between wondering if I can handle this all or if I am going to fail and be alone. A sliver of hope and a sliver more of confidence is a lot and 10%, thats a whole piece of pie!

So here are some things worth considering:
Who are you allowing to dictate your state of mind? Is it a catty ex or children who are going through a hard time in life? WHY? Why aren't you in charge of your own feelings?Are …

You are enough!

When I Realized I Do Too Much

There is a dark little step-parenting secret that makes society's natural shaming of the role so offensive. Most steps feel inadequate. Most steps feel like they have to do MORE than they would if they were a birth parent to forge a parental bond with kids.

In my experience there are two kinds of steps, with no real huge population of middle ground. They can be summed up as "Yours are Yours and Mine are Mine" and "Treat All the Kids in Your Family as if They Were Your Own". I think the roles are self explanatory. I have been given unsolicited advice from column A multiple times. And it ranges from everything like "they aren't your kids so why do you even care?" to "that is NOT your place" to "your life will be easier if you just let him deal with them". I find that this isn't conducive for a loving relationship. I am not talking about the relationship between parent and child, but in a loving romantic relationship between m…

Ask Your Kids 15 Questions About You

1.  What is something I always say?
-Teamwork makes the dream work
-heyyyy girlies!

2.  What makes me happy?
-People... Dad, me, Autumn, Soph, Grammy, Lenore... I could go on forever
-When the dogs aren't barking and pajamas
-Music

3.  What makes me sad?
-When the dogs eat your slippers
-When the dogs are barking and when dad farts

4.  What do I do that makes you laugh?
-When you told dad that his fart smelled like burnt ketchup and eggs

5.  What was I like as a kid?
-Like Sophia
-A mermaid

6.  How old am I?
-33
-19
-0

7.  How tall am I?
-500 and 90-10 feet
-4 feet
-5 feet

8.  What do I like to do?
-Make crafts
-You like to do activities like this
-Travel

9.  What do I do when I'm not with you?
-Sleep
-You and dad stay up all night watching TV like Spongebob and eating ice cream and wondering what I'm going to be like when I grow up
-Play Smash Bros all day

10.  What am I good at?
-Making art, reading books, and telling dad to pull up his pants
-Making people smile and …