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Petty Diatribes

I have now had time to go back and read through things I have written here in the past. How interesting is it to realize that some of my biggest issues with StepMomming is the other Mom? I have sat on these thoughts for a few days because I wanted to propose to other steps, the idea that maybe 90% of these issues are things that I have no control over, but doesn't that mean if I handle things like a boss I could be in control of 10% of them? I could be 10% happier! 10% happier could be the difference between crying myself to sleep and falling restlessly into dreamland or the difference between wondering if I can handle this all or if I am going to fail and be alone. A sliver of hope and a sliver more of confidence is a lot and 10%, thats a whole piece of pie!

So here are some things worth considering:
  • Who are you allowing to dictate your state of mind? Is it a catty ex or children who are going through a hard time in life? WHY? Why aren't you in charge of your own feelings?
  • Are you judging your self worth based on anything other than who you truly are? Are you allowing children mourning their first family to make you feel less than? Are you allowing a jealous ex into your own judgements of yourself? WHY? Why would you consider your worth based on people who are lashing out in pain?
  • Have you been kind? Have you been brave? If you have acted out of selfless affection all along the way you have nothing to be ashamed of. BUT if you have been catty yourself or lowered yourself to their level... was it worth it? 

I have argued with the kids birth mom, don't get me wrong. However, there are only three reasons I have done this: 1) To defend the kids, myself, or my fiance, 2) To put her in her place, because sometimes it just has to be done, or 3) Because I truly feel strongly about something when it comes to parenting. I have NEVER ever picked an argument with her. I have NEVER ever name-called her. And if I have been that clear in my dealings with her I can only imagine with all the insecurity, pain, and self-conscientiousness that comes with step-parenting naturally this would be unbearable!

In the end, you love a child.
In the end, a child has more people who love them.
In the end, that is all that matters. 


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